i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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