is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
