I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
