I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
