I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
