I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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