btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize