i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
