I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have aggressive nipples.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
