We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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