I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just want to make out with him forever
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
