Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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