The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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