UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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