i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize