batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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