I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
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