If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
