I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
