well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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