My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
