A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
