No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
