I got chris browned last night
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
