So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize