I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
