My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
