you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
