i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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