so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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