then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
