Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
