If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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