You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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