Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
