I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
