Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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