I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
