I think i peed on brittanys purse
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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