Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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