you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
