Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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