i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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