yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
