please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
