Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
