But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
