so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
