I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
