why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
