I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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