fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
