Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
