Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He did a backflip because drugs
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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