My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
