I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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