I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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