Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
