ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm like, not good at living.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
