my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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